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Thread: My premise....need feedback,

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    Inactive Member The Evil Dead's Avatar
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    Question

    Here's my premise of another script I am about to write. Please provide feedback on what you think I could do to improve please.

    TITLE: VAMPIRE RESSURECTION

    Grisly murders have been happening every night at the stroke of midnight for the past week. Police have no clues or leads to go on to capture the killer. A Paranormal Investigator, Geoffry, suspects the supernatural is heavily involved in these murders. We are then are introduced to Jericko, a teenager living in a dungeon-like basement with a disturbing past: He's the reincarnation of Dracula himself. Jericko is now set on a disturbing journey to stop the vampire inside him before it takes complete control.

    GENRE: HORROR/DRAMA
    EST. RUNNING TIME: 110 MINS

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    Inactive Member ThomasB's Avatar
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    Well... If it's ok for you, then go ahead and make that project. I wish you good luck and good ideas on keeping the story interesting.

    I for one wouldn't want to spend time on such a movie, but that's a matter of personal preferences.

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    ThomasB
    http://www.biennavista.com

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    Inactive Member chatterbox's Avatar
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    I agree, it's a bit like any other vapire flick. IF you're going to do horror, you need to give it some kind of twist or originality.

    This Jeriko character is a good start - maybe you need to look at his relationship with Geoffry and something interesting might come out.

    This kind of thing is real hollywood fodder so I'm sure someone would be interested if it's fresh and different.

    Chatterbox out.

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    Inactive Member chatterbox's Avatar
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    I agree, it's a bit like any other vapire flick. IF you're going to do horror, you need to give it some kind of twist or originality.

    This Jeriko character is a good start - maybe you need to look at his relationship with Geoffry and something interesting might come out.

    This kind of thing is real hollywood fodder so I'm sure someone would be interested if it's fresh and different.

    Chatterbox out.

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    Imagination is more
    important than knowledge
    - Einstein

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    Inactive Member The Evil Dead's Avatar
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    <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, helvetica, sans serif">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by 8th Man:
    Well is it Geoffery's story or Jerico's or both? The premise would first have us think it's about a Supernatural investigator and then have us believe it's about A kid named Jericko struggling with his inner deamons. Perhaps the last sentence that sums it up should include how Geoffry will play a part in this journey.
    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    It's mainly about Jericko and his journey. But Geoffry plays apart in Jericko's journey by doing something *special* at the end.

    BTW, I tried making up another Vampire legend to go along with it and it was hard. I'll try again though.

    And I'm trying to avoid being *hollywood* with it's approach by not using excessive amounts of gore to scare people, but buy using subliminals and illusions.(ala exorcist). I'm trying to also incorporate more drama to the aspect except in the opening sequence which has the most horror in it.



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    Inactive Member Dirty Cricket's Avatar
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    That is excellent, i think you should try and avoid using any gore at all,

    but in my openion i think using a lot of gore isn't *hollywood* it usally reserved for *independent* but there is nothing wronge with doing it hollywood style, after all that is why they are popular

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    Inactive Member painter ass's Avatar
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    i am a big fan of horror, and that script idea screams generic to me. sorry. good idea on not using gore though, possibly be the only aspect of the film I dig.

    what do i know though?

    good luck



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    Inactive Member The Evil Dead's Avatar
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    How do you guys think I can improve it all?

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    Inactive Member 8th Man's Avatar
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    Well is it Geoffery's story or Jerico's or both? The premise would first have us think it's about a Supernatural investigator and then have us believe it's about A kid named Jericko struggling with his inner deamons. Perhaps the last sentence that sums it up should include how Geoffry will play a part in this journey.
    Also, are you sure you want it to really be Dracula again? How about some other vampire who's legend you could make up yourself. Dracula may be just too common.

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    PRM

  10. #10
    eddie
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    go for good gore AND good drama - that'll suprise everyone.

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